I have been a very lazy blogger, partly due to that thing called life getting in the way and partly because I have been treading that tight rope of balance with food for a while. I have sort of been waiting to be slim and happy and ready to divulge my wonderful foodie finds, but sod it. Here goes. Part personal journey, part observation and all moan. Here’s to all the food lovers who like me find it all a bit of a struggle sometimes.
I adore food, far too much, and my love of food has made me somewhat greedy. There is no real way to sugar coat it. I am a finish a packet of biscuits once started sort of gal, a stranger to moderation you might say. I do try ….. god knows I do but I also seem to have a lack of that little thing called will-power.
All in all it is a recipe for disaster. I regularly fling myself head first into a few days of wine, cheese and sticky toffee pudding with a big happy smile on my face and then spend the next few weeks (if not months) marvelling at how such a teeny tiny eeny meeny little slip could possibly result in 6lbs on my behind! Unfortunately the heady days of losing your weekend weight in a day or two are long gone. Apparently middle-aged women (awful term) are tremendously good at retaining fat. How terribly clever of us!
So I found myself at the start of the year struggling to squish into my jeans and wondering which diet to go onto next. 5:2, sugar-free, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Dukan, Slimming World, Scottish Slimmers, clean eating – the list is endless and NONE of them really work long term. I have tried most of them. People who say “this diet does work, I have lost weight on it 10 times, its brilliant” are actually telling me that really it doesn’t work because they have had to go back to it 10 blooming times. Wake up people!
Even worse than diets are “lifestyle plans”. These are basically diets that pretend not to be which is just darned sneaky if you want my opinion. They are actually more irritating than regular diets and say things like “cleanse your cupboards of all temptation” Who the hell are these people. I would like to see the look of Mini and B’s faces if I stripped the house of crunchies and haribos.
Just eat healthily my rather sickeningly slim chums chime. Oh really!! I am a bright cookie and believe it or not I actually know what I should and shouldn’t eat. I just …….. don’t. My main meals are more often than not terrific, however my snacking leaves a lot to be desired. I once used the popular app My Fitness Pal and day after day it showed on its cute little pie chart that around 50% of my daily calories came from snacks …… and possibly prosecco.
But why oh why is this the case. Why does person A feel happy with one chocolate digestive with a cup of tea whilst person B will eat half the packet, attempt to hide it from herself and then finally give in and eat the rest really very quickly whilst standing in the middle of the kitchen, guilt kicking in before the last biscuit is munched.
I thought upping my exercise might be the answer but I soon learned that running 5K three times a week may be great for me but that I can’t out run a bad diet. Ooft that was a very hard lesson. I did spend a few blissful weeks truly believing that a Chinese takeaway, three glasses of red wine and a crunchie would be balanced out by a run. The good news is that I am still running but it is not half as much fun knowing that I can’t eat a chocolate brownie and whipped cream with impunity. By the way the picture above is actually me running. Sadly I am not the size 10 blond but the slightly larger pink runner at the front with her tongue sticking out!!
Another piece of advice often given is that one ought to eat from a smaller plate. I tried this and ended up having exactly the same portion balanced precariously in a vertical mound. Needless to say it didn’t work.
Then there is the problem of having a social life, and this is a biggy. Things in life that make me happy are in no particular order; my family, eating out in a nice restaurant, going out to dinner at friends homes, meeting friends for drinks, summer BBQs, finding new fabulous cafes, cooking, running, reading, cake and prosecco. You get the picture …. food related activities genuinely make me happy.
I am not that interested in going for a healthy walk as an alternative to food when I am peckish, as the lifestyle books would suggest, however I did try something different just last weekend. Instead of just heading straight to a restaurant for food and wine myself and some girls headed to a climbing wall first ……… and then headed to the pub for food and a few bottles of prosecco to celebrate our achievements. My climbing wall chums are very naturally slim and just a bit more agile than me, so instead of feeling very healthy and fabulous I felt like a bit of a heifer and images of Bridget Jones’s arse coming down the fire pole in the first movie flashed into my head each time I slid down the rope. All in all it did not do much for my self-confidence – straight to the pub next time.
Now I do not have much weight to lose and some friends I know think I am a bampot and look fine. I am a bampot and I do generally look fine but every six months there is more weight on creeping on which does not seem to come off. As this rate it will not be too long before they do not think I am a bampot and do not really look all that fine. Will being slim make me happy …….. the real answer is of course probably not but it will save me a heck of a lot of money as I am in danger of having to buy a whole new summer wardrobe.
If you assume from my rant that I am not on a pesky diet, you would be wrong. Of course I bloody am. It’s not too bad really, It is Weight Watchers no count which is good as I am rubbish at maths and there is just a great big list of foods from which I can eat as much as I want. Technically speaking you are meant to eat until you are satisfied – I go a bit beyond that. For nice treats such as Prosecco and Mississippi Mud Pie I have special points which I do have to count. Some smug dieters claim that they NEVER eat their extra treat points which makes them bonkers. I not only eat every point I have but I also earn extra by exercising like a loon. Weight Watchers don’t necessarily advise this as a sensible approach but sod that – it’s the only thing keeping me going.
So after all that I am losing a few pounds, moving lots and still managing to be just a little bit greedy and that will do for now.
Lots of days out to navigate over the coming weeks and I promise to gather some real foodie material to pass on to you soon.
Till then ………
All photos bar one are sourced from photopin.com